What is Christian love? On good days and bad, you may wonder how to be a good Christian wife. Being a godly woman who nurtures a strong and lasting relationship with her husband is a work in progress. You and your husband have unique personalities, preferences, strengths, and weaknesses. When two become one, communicating, compromising, and balancing acts are part of your marriage journey.
No person or marriage is perfect. Don’t be deterred by relationship setbacks or marital stress. Reading about and modeling the characteristics of a Christian woman is a good place to begin practicing Christian love. In time, you’ll build on your strengths and manage your weaknesses.
You can pray and strive daily to do everything in love (1 Corinthians 16:14) for the greater good of marriage goals that glorify God.
Character counts: the million-dollar woman
Did you know that fine rubies are rarer than diamonds and among the most expensive gemstones? They’ve weighed in at prices of over $1 million per carat. Being a godly woman in a ruby-like relationship with your husband sets a high bar! But Scripture tells us that some things in life are of inestimable value. Some aspects of love, life, and eternally focused relationships are priceless.
How to be a gem of a wife
True beauty comes from within. Just as rubies are multi-faceted gems, a good Christian wife loves her husband in her own unique ways. It’s not about being Martha Stewart, Florence Nightingale, Mother Teresa, or even Joan of Arc. It’s practicing virtues that show – in your smile, your work, and your love. To be noble is to be honorable, righteous, dignified, trustworthy, gracious, and good.
Proverbs 31: 10-31 describes a noble wife in great detail. When you read the chapter in its entirety, you’ll find countless spiritually inspired but highly practical virtues. Striving for these can make you a real gem in the eyes and heart of your husband, and God. Proverbs 31 lists the following among many examples of things a godly wife does for her husband:
…she works hard
Today’s women may or may not spin wool, make linen garments, or have “strong arms for her tasks.” You may have nimble texting thumbs, a willingness to replace missing buttons, and a tendency to run to the nearest grocery store rather than “bring food from afar” (Proverbs 31: 14). If you work hard at whatever you do and take an active, caring role in a genuine partnership, you’re on the right track.
…she feeds and clothes her family
Love is the most important ingredient in the meals you prepare (Proverbs 31: 15) and the warmth you bring to your household (Proverbs 31: 21). Nourishment and warmth may come in the form of oven-fresh cookies, brown-bag sandwiches, a hot casserole, or your husband’s favorite five-star meal. It may look like a warm comforter, a hand-knit scarf, or a colorful and perfectly placed rug. It matters. You’re contributing to the comforts of home and the happiness, security, and well-being of your loved ones. You’re encouraging camaraderie, good conversations, enjoyable treats, and lifelong memories for family or guests. That’s a worthy endeavor!
…she speaks with wisdom
Communicating is essential in any relationship, and it’s a two-way street. A godly wife listens well, keeps a pleasant disposition, speaks without malice, and treats her husband with respect. When you’re kind, patient, and positive toward your husband rather than being critical and argumentative, everyone is more likely to be heard, understood, and respected in return. Never mock, ridicule, or speak poorly of your husband in person or when he’s not around.
…she brings her husband good, not harm
Be kind and affectionate toward your husband. He needs your support and encouragement support as he brings honor to your household at the city gates (Proverbs 31:23) among the elders of our day. It’s a team effort. Since people’s temperaments and desires vary, it’s important to keep lines of communication open. When you and your husband are pulling in the same direction, you’ll reach individual and shared goals more easily. Support your husband in all his endeavors and work to lift him up, not bring him down.
“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” – Proverbs 31:10 (NIV)
Partnership and prayers with your husband
A Christian wife who loves her husband follows his lead and serves as a partner and friend, rather than pushing, pulling, micromanaging or nagging. Does he need more space or less? Is there something bothering him that you’ve overlooked? Don’t assume things are okay. Touch base often to be sure you’re both on the same page.
Christian love includes scheduled and spontaneous prayer time with your husband. It keeps you connected to each other and God. When to-do lists, expectations and gems-in-the-making get to be too much, remember the bottom line: Love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8).
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