Wanting a child can feel lonely. Proverbs says “the barren womb” is never satisfied [Proverbs 30:15]. You may be hoping to conceive for the first time, trying for another child, or fearing your next pregnancy will end in miscarriage. Whether it’s been two months, two years, or a long season of waiting, know that God is with you.
As your mind and body are wrestling with the physical aspects and working to cope with the stress and impact on your marriage, your soul needs nourishment too. The intellectual part of your mind needs to process the truth of God’s word, and the more emotional parts of your soul and spirit also need to soak in God’s presence to find comfort, hope, and strength.
God cares
God created human beings to “be fruitful and multiply” [Genesis 1:28]. Creating and carrying new life in your body is a reflection of God’s very nature as Creator. Conceiving and giving birth to a child is a beautiful example of how God has uniquely designed women and their role in procreation.
However, throughout human history, many women have struggled to conceive—even women who knew God and were following Him. Perhaps you can identify with Sarah (Genesis 16), Rachel (Genesis 29), Hannah (1 Samuel 1), or Elizabeth (Luke 1). Like these would-be mothers of old, you may wonder why God seems to bless other women with children, but you aren’t experiencing the same.
God eventually blessed each of the above-mentioned women with a child. Will He do the same for you? I’ve talked with women who wonder if their struggle to conceive is God’s punishment for something they’ve done or not done. Some try to find the right prayer or the right person to pray over them so they will conceive.
It’s right to pray for a child. “Children are a gift from the Lord” [Psalm 127:3, NLT]. And for those who do have a child, it’s right to thank God for that new life. When I was delivering babies, I’d often say to new parents, “Every new life is a miracle. A new baby is God’s opinion that the world should go on.”
And if you’re struggling to conceive, it doesn’t mean God is against you. After all, “If God is for us, who can be against us?” [Romans 8:31, NIV]. He is for you regardless of your circumstances. To paraphrase Paul’s words, “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?” Shall infertility or pregnancy loss? [Paraphrased from Romans 8:35, KJV].
God’s presence
Even when your intellect knows those true Biblical statements, your emotional self may still struggle. God’s presence with you offers comfort, strength, healing, and hope for both your intellectual and emotional self. He’s not waiting for you to get it all together; He’s right with you even in the midst of your struggle. Scripture shows God being uniquely close to those who are troubled:
- “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”—[Psalm 34:18 NIV]
- “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”—[Psalm 147:3 NIV]
God invites you to bring your deepest burdens to Him. Believers in Scripture did just that; Moses, David, Jeremiah, Mary and Martha, and others. Many of the Psalms demonstrate how God invites you to share your anger, pain, loneliness, desperation, anxiety, fear, or questions. You need to hold nothing back.
Imagine Jesus sitting with you as you struggle to conceive. God’s presence never lessens; He’s with you always, regardless of the journey’s end. Open your soul to Him. Perhaps write Him a letter expressing all that’s on your heart. Picture Him in the room with you. What look is on His face? What do you want to tell Him? Is He saying anything to you?
Soaking in God’s presence should become a regular practice. Don’t run away from Him—run to Him. It’s good to continue to let your requests be made known to God [Philippians 4:6]. But once you ask, don’t immediately get up and leave. Stay there a little longer and listen. As your heart becomes still, you can receive “encouragement in Christ [and] comfort from love” [Philippians 2:1].
Regardless
God will bless you, either with conceiving a child or with a blessing of a different nature. Sometimes He blesses by showing up as you are in the fire of infertility, as He did with the three Hebrews in the fiery furnace (Daniel 3). Jesus’ promise to you is, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” [Hebrews 13:5, ESV].
Perhaps your testimony will be, “For this child I have prayed” [1 Samuel 1:27]. Or perhaps your testimony will be, “None of these things move me” [Acts 20:24].
Embrace your feelings about not—or not yet—having a baby. Bring those emotions to Jesus. Be real with Him. And then direct your feelings instead of following them. Instead, follow Him and anything He tells you to do. Listen for His voice and soak in God’s presence.
May you invite Jesus to walk every step of this journey of trying to conceive with you. And may you sense God’s presence guiding and comforting you today, tomorrow, and every day.
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